Have you ever had those moments? Moments of reading your Bible seeing the faithfulness of God, seeing Him deliver His people time and time again. You begin to write down and memorize the "feel good" verses. The verses that proclaim God never leaving you nor forsaking you. Proclaiming God to be your shelter in the storm, your provider. These verses that you cry out on an hourly basis, however you still don't feel as if any of those things are true. You feel as if you are the one who hid the idol in your tent and brought destruction among your people. Situations around you don't seem to get any better, and once there is a beacon of light it gets covered with a pile of crap from the world. Every day you wake up believing that TODAY is the day of victory, and going to bed feeling defeated. I could go on and on with examples of the emotional struggle we have had these past couple of months, especially spiritually.
There has been a huge chunk of the time spent in 2009 weeping to the Lord asking Him for a sound, a movement, something, anything!! We kept seeking His face, even when it was easier to run away from Him. Through these arguments with God we have found more intimacy with Him. Getting to a place of complete surrender. I can honestly say that I have not spent a day in "comfort" with the Lord. He has been yanking, not always gently, roots from my heart. Purifying my life from every corner. I have learned to truly live what I believe, and not just give Him lip service. As believers we say, " I trust in the Lord" or "The Lord is my provider" and yet we care more about the money in our bank accounts, then investing time in others. We are so preoccupied with "ministry" we forget what truly seeking the heart of God looks like. Cause wake up call people, you can serve 'til your blue in the face but when was the last time you spent one on one time with your Savior? Not to share with people in your small group or a group of friends but those intimate times when He gives you a secret. It's once we grasp this concept that we can be raw before the Lord and He can lead us rather then us leading us!
Once Andrew and I began to grasp this concept things began to change quickly. It became easier for us to follow the God given passions in our heart then the thoughts of head. We are in a place where it may not make sense to anyone around us. And there are times when everyone around us make sure that we know, it doesn't make sense! But we had a choice to make... Do we do things like the rest of the world? or Do we do things the way God has called us to do? One way is easier and a lot less pressure, because it's been done before. The other way is tough, and scary at times... but there is so much peace and excitement of the unknown. We are not of this world, and we are called to live set apart. When I was younger I would sing at the top of my lungs the song from Delirious "I'm gonna be, a HIStory maker in this land" Those words have always resonated in my spirit. That is what is engraved in my heart.
I was reading I Samuel 16 when Samuel goes to anoint one of Jesse's sons to be the next king. One of my favorite parts of this story is that Jesse, David's own father, did not even consider David to be anointed. So much that he didn't even call him in for the prophet to look at. Because everyone around David counted him out. It didn't make sense to the crowd. However, God looks at the heart unlike man who looks at the outward appearance. How many times have we been counted out by the ones who are suppose to believe in us the most... including ourselves! It was during the time of herding the sheep that David perfected his lyre skills, which is what got him into the palace in the first place. So the times we feel unproductive, and useless, are the times we need to perfect our gifts, so that we will be ready when the invitation to the Palace comes. Instead of complaining where you are in life, perfect where you are in life and before you know it your running the race you were created for!
Remember: When it comes to those around you doubting your obedience to the Lord. One day the crowd was wavy palm branches at Jesus and the next they were screaming "Crucify Him!" The crowds of your life will come in waves, but remember that God is building a Kingdom not of this world. So we no longer are bound by our circumstances but live free in the truth of the Lord. He has given you passions and desires for a purpose, and being controlled by this world is not one of them!!
Andrew and I are still learning these lessons, and my desire is that we don't stop. That the "comfortable" Christian walk will be forever gone, and I live a life of passion for my God. That my children's children will be living a life of a HIStory maker!
No comments:
Post a Comment