Going against the flow...

      Tonight Andrew and I find ourselves in the same discussion that we have had hundreds of times before. The conversation that seems to be plaguing our thoughts. One question running through our minds over, and over again. Is this what it feels like to be stepping out in faith? What are the things that are suppose to happen between the 1st leap of faith and the actual landing in the faithfulness of God? 

   Some things were brought to my attention tonight. Living a life of faith was never promised to be easy or make sense for that matter. When you step out in faith you feel as if you are the only one that has ever had to do this. Then I read the Old Testament, and see the men and women of God that lived a life similar to what Andrew and I are going through. The only difference is, I get to read the last chapters of there life... when God shows His love and faithfulness to them. Oh how I wish I could read the next chapter of my own life!! ( How great would that be?!!) How would we look at the lives of these Bible characters if we never read the last chapter of their lives? Would we be the ones in the crowd calling them crazy? Mocking them for their life of faith? Like so many of us mock one another when one steps out in faith.

    I'm reminded of a sermon I heard about Noah. He was told to build a massive boat in the middle of a dry spell. Could you imagine being Noah while building the boat. People constantly reminding him how crazy he was for stepping out in faith and building an unnecessary boat when rain hadn't been in the forecast in awhile! He dealt with the humiliation for years, probably thinking to himself ,"God, I hope this was you." or " I am crazy,... this is nonsense." Day after day building the boat, feeling like a crazy person. Yeah, that sounds so familiar.

     But luckily we can read the last chapter of Noah's story! Can you imagine what it must have felt like when the 1st drop of rain came falling down, hitting Noah's hand. What did he think then? " *gasp* you do exist." At that moment everything changed in Noah's life. He wasn't crazy, he was faithful. Funny how faithful and crazy go along side each other. So, I may be going through the process of the "faithful/crazy" stage, I know that a moment is coming soon, my "*Gasp* You do exist!" moment. 

      So often we look at point A to point B, and that is what we keep our focus on. But God cares more about the journey between the points then the actual destination. Yeah, building the boat isn't easy, but if you never built the boat, you never would have been able to get in the boat when the storm came. 

Let's break free!!

        Since moving to Denver, we constantly find ourselves struggling with the thoughts in our head and the passions in our heart. Lately they don't seem to be on the same page or even in the same library! We know that we were suppose to move out here to help start Church Alive Colorado, and knew it was going to be a struggle but worth every second of it. Yes, we were right about that!! But the struggles that we were going to face in our own personal life could not have been expected, nor planned for. Internally battling against thoughts of defeat, or the feeling of abandonment from the Lord. Mind racing battles, that make you cry out ... " WHERE ARE YOU? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" 

       Have you ever had those moments? Moments of reading your Bible seeing the faithfulness of God, seeing Him deliver His people time and time again. You begin to write down and memorize the "feel good" verses. The verses that proclaim God never leaving you nor forsaking you. Proclaiming God to be your shelter in the storm, your provider. These verses that you cry out on an hourly basis, however you still don't feel as if any of those things are true. You feel as if you are  the one who hid the idol in your tent and brought destruction among your people. Situations around you don't seem to get any better, and once there is a beacon of light it gets covered with a pile of crap from the world. Every day you wake up believing that TODAY is the day of victory, and going to bed feeling defeated. I could go on and on with examples of the emotional struggle we have had these past couple of months, especially spiritually. 

    There has been a huge chunk of the time spent in 2009 weeping to the Lord asking Him for a sound, a movement, something, anything!! We kept seeking His face, even when it was easier to run away from Him. Through these arguments with God we have found more intimacy with Him. Getting to a place of complete surrender. I can honestly say that I have not spent a day in "comfort" with the Lord. He has been yanking, not always gently, roots from my heart. Purifying my life from every corner. I have learned to truly live what I believe, and not just give  Him lip service. As believers we say, " I trust in the Lord" or "The Lord is my provider" and yet we care more about the money in our bank accounts, then investing time in others. We are so preoccupied with "ministry" we forget what truly seeking the heart of God looks like. Cause wake up call people, you can serve 'til your blue in the face but when was the last time you spent one on one time with your Savior? Not to share with people in your small group or a group of friends but those intimate times when He gives you a secret. It's once we grasp this concept that we can be raw before the Lord and He can lead us rather then us leading us! 

     Once Andrew and I began to grasp this concept things began to change quickly. It became easier for us to follow the God given passions in our heart then the thoughts of  head. We are in a place where it may not make sense to anyone around us. And there are times when everyone around us make sure that we know, it doesn't make sense! But we had a choice to make... Do we do things like the rest of the world? or Do we do things the way God has called us to do? One way is easier and a lot less pressure, because it's been done before. The other way is tough, and scary at times... but there is so much peace and excitement of the unknown. We are not of this world, and we are called to live set apart. When I was younger I would sing at the top of my lungs the song from Delirious "I'm gonna be, a HIStory maker in this land" Those words have always resonated in my spirit. That is what is engraved in my heart. 

        I was reading I Samuel 16 when Samuel goes to anoint one of Jesse's sons to be the next king. One of my favorite parts of this story is that Jesse, David's own father, did not even consider David to be anointed. So much that he didn't even call him in for the prophet to look at. Because everyone around David counted him out. It didn't make sense to the crowd. However, God looks at the heart unlike man who looks at the outward appearance. How many times have we been counted out by the ones who are suppose to believe in us the most... including ourselves! It was during the time of herding the sheep that David perfected his lyre skills, which is what got him into the palace in the first place. So the times we feel unproductive, and useless, are the times we need to perfect our gifts, so that we will be ready when the invitation to the Palace comes. Instead of complaining where you are in life, perfect where you are in life and before you know it your running the race you were created for! 

Remember: When it comes to those around you doubting your obedience to the Lord. One day the crowd was wavy palm branches at Jesus and the next they were screaming "Crucify Him!" The crowds of your life will come in waves, but remember that God is building a Kingdom not of this world. So we no longer are bound by our circumstances but live free in the truth of the Lord. He has given you passions and desires for a purpose, and being controlled by this world is not one of them!! 

Andrew and I are still learning these lessons, and my desire is that we don't stop. That the "comfortable" Christian walk will be forever gone, and I live a life of passion for my God. That my children's children will be living a life of a HIStory maker! 

Habakkuk who?

   Here goes... Andrew writing a blog... Now the reason this is no ordinary occurrence is because whenever I sit down and write something it usually takes me several hours!  Oh well... my feet are propped up on the coffee table, the pro bowl is on for background noise, and I have several hours of unscheduled time waiting to be used... its 4:56... start your clocks...

   So if you haven't heard, read, or figured out, Sara and I are living in Denver now, and in a way that we totally unexpected, it has rocked our world.  God has been stretching, molding, refining, and building... and I have been wrestling, questioning, stiffening, and flailing!  Have you ever reached a point in your life where the reality of what you profess as a Christian smacks you up side the face?!  I think throughout life God takes us to points where we are reminded that our profession of "God is faithful," is more than just a nice Christian saying... but rather it is a lifestyle that is to be lived day to day.  How often have I recited the Lord's prayer, "...give us this day our daily bread...", and really meant just that?  If I really think about it, I'm usually more concerned about what my monthly or yearly cash flow is going to look like.  

   God has really been showing me the significance of the my words and the profession of my faith.  How often have I said something simply because that is what I'm supposed to say as a Christian in that particular circumstance.  Its fascinating how our words change when we find ourselves in a situation where it seems our words is the only thing we have control over.  Think of Job... what was Satan so desperately trying to get Job to do?... Curse God... renounce through his words his trust in God's faithfulness and goodness.  When all of life was crashing in around Job he still had control over the words that were coming out of his mouth.

   Sara and I have most recently been studying the book of Habakkuk.  Yeah...I know... who studies the book of Habakkuk?!  But let me tell you, there is some great stuff in there!  In the last chapter we discovered some verses that I encourage you to apply to your life as well.  I think it will help with the sturdiness of our profession:  "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."  Wow...what a statement!  If it were up to my ability there is no way I could live such a life!  Fortunately the two verses after that go on to say... "The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."  

   And let me just add... the beauty of trusting in our God is that he has always been faithful to his promises and word!  Have a blessed week!

Visit from the Fellows

We have had a blast with Andrew's parents this past couple of days. Don & Teresa have decided to take an adventure around the US of A. While here they have stocked our refrigerator and pantry, watched a very intense game of football, and shopped for houses for Ryan and Abigail (Andrew's younger brother & wife). 

        This is our first guests in our house. Excluding the night my parents stayed with us when we moved up here!! I have been practicing my hospitality skills, which I got from my mother, and enjoyed the entire thing! I think I realized that I am more like my mom then realized... which is not a bad thing!! 

      So, if anyone wants to come spend some time with the Fellows come on down!! This is something Andrew and I have always talked about. Having a house that is open to surprise vistis, late night talks, and slumber parties!! (My words, not his!) So, please never hesitate to call or just stop by, we would love to spend time with you and see what Jesus is doing in your life! 

The Wisdom of a 6 year old.......

So, I woke up this morning remember what my nephew Jericho, at the time was 6 but now he's 7,  had told me a couple of weeks ago. I asked him if he was afraid of the dark and this was his response, " No, I'm brave! Plus, I know that God will take care of me!!" Now that seems like a sweet thing for a little boy to say, however there is so much weight to those words. To not be afraid of what is going on in the world around you because you have a clear picture of your Father, knowing that He will take care of you, He will never leave you nor forsake you.  The Bible talks of how we should have faith like a child. Talking to Jericho made me this come alive to me. When in my adult life did I decide to put more trust in man then in my Creator? You see Jericho has a perspective of God that most people lose through the course of life. His lens through which he views life has not been clouded by the logic of man. 

  If only we could all see the simplicity of the faithfulness of God through the eyes of a 6 year old. What would our life look like? What would this world look like? So, I challenge you the way God has challenged us, trust Him with purity and innocence,.... like my Jericho!! 

Random times with the Fellows

One of the scariest things I've done since being a wife.... Cutting Andrew's hair. Yes, he had a small bald spot above his ear! 

( Left picture is the final result!) 

Andrew's first Balloon Fiesta experience! We went with my parents and the Jeantette clan. Andrew was like a 4 year old on Christmas, he was so excited! 

Camping in the Jemez Mountains with some awesome friends!  Andrew and I are both outdoors people, well more him then me, but hiking and camping will definitely be a part of our life! Which is why Colorado is a good thing! 

So we had no idea what to be for the costume party at our friends house, so we tried to be Sonny and Cher. Andrew's lip has been bald ever since! 

I know we're a little late starting our marriage/life updates but we're trying to give everyone a crash course now! We love all of our friends and family, especially the ones that read these! We have had a blast these past 5 months and look forward to the future!

It's not who we are but WHOSE we are

Surprise!! We live in Colorado once again! We have been planning on moving to Denver,CO for a couple of months now but not sure when the right timing would be. The last week of December I was offered a job and a housing program opened up. Everything was set into alignment for us to make the big move! So on January 11 we loaded up a UHAUL and headed north to our new home in Aurora,CO.

 Before I go to far into the story, I should back up and tell you the reason we decided to move. So let's rewind for a moment... errrrrrrrrrrt! (My sound effects of rewinding!) 

Andrew and I started attending Church Alive!, a church in Albuquerque, back in early October 2008. On our very 1st Sunday there we ran into my old youth leader from the church I grew up at. He began to tell us that he was planting a church in Lakewood,CO coming next September. We met with him and his wife that night and our hearts began to be knit together.

From that moment on we were committed to starting Church Alive Colorado. There are 4 other families moving from Albuquerque to Denver in June, to help start this church. Andrew and I felt like we needed to move earlier to get the process here in Denver started. When the doors began to open for us we walked right through them. 

These past couple of weeks have been a little bit of a struggle, however God has proven His faithfulness through and through! I can honestly say that it has been the best week of our marriage thus far. We have grown together as a couple, fighting along side one another facing giants neither one of us have had to face before. God is on the move not only in our lives but in the lives around us. If there has ever been a time that I am clinging to the word of God it is now. I don't want to scare you and make it sound like we're in termoile but rather testify to God's faithfulness.

Here are some verses and prayers that we are confessing over our life...

"I was young and now I'm old yet I have never seen the righteousness forsaken nor their children begging bread." - Psalms 

"The Lord has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering." Genesis 41:52

In the name of Jesus I am the righteousness of God. 
 Therefore, I am entitled to covenant kindness and the
 covenant favor.  The favor of God is upon the righteous. 
 The favor of God surrounds the righteous; therefore, it
 surrounds me everywhere I go and in everything I do.  I
 expect the favor of God to be in manifestation.  Never again
 will I be without the favor of God.  Satan, my days in
 Lodebar cease today!  I am leaving that place because the
 favor of God is upon me.  It rests richly upon me, it
 profusely abounds in me, and I'm part of the generation
 that will experience it immeasurably, limitless and
 surpassing.  therefore, favor produces in my life
 supernatural increase, promotion, restoration, honor,
 increased assets, great victories, recognition, prominence,
 preferential treatment, petitions granted, policies and
 rules changed, and battles won in which I need not fight! 
 Thank you LORD!