Life is beautiful! These past couple of months our hearts have been lit ablaze. We've gotten plugged into a church that we are learning the Bible and starting to truly know the Word. I wake up every morning with an ache to spend time with my King.

Andrew is starting to get involved in the men's group, and comes home with excitement & can hardly contain himself from telling me everything that he learned. And for those of you that know Andrew that is not his character.

We have started taking a beginners course of the Hebrew language. Such an interesting language, and it has helped us understand/study the Bible in such a different way. I wish I could sit down with every person I knew and show them the things that God is showing us. Maybe, one day I will! 8>)

As for our little Jachin... well she is so much fun! She's got a little personality already, it is so fun to see her/listen to her talk, and talk , and talk, and talk!! What can I say, she's her mother's daughter! Her newest thing is grabbing her toes and pulling on them. It's very amusing! Also, she loves sucking in her two middle fingers, it's her way of soothing herself. However, she moves around so much while she sleeps, we swaddle her and she's not able to suck on her fingers. She's a resourceful one, and she nows sucks on her bottom lip. It's so funny! I'm just waiting for her to give herself a hickey! When that happens pictures will be posted!

Andrew is loving school and learning a lot. I try to help him study, so in a way I am learning some too. Today in his lab they are going to give each other shots with saline,... I'll keep you posted on how that goes! Last week he was able to go on a ride along at a fire station. Nothing too exciting happened on any of the calls but he thought it was a ton of fun!

As for me... I am loving where God has me in life. I have am enjoying my hebrew online class and can hardly wait until I can go back to school full time next semester! My friend and I are starting a mommy's group and I am super stoked for that to start. My passion for people and the things of the Lord have just increased these past couple of months and I am so zealous for the things of God. I love it! I am also running a 5k with some friends in October... We started training last night. It went well, none of us are passionate runners so it's mainly for the social aspect! Wish us luck!!

So that's a little update about us, I'm sure there is so much more to talk about but I'm sure facebook keeps us all updated!!

Our lilly among the thorns...

Well, she's here! One of the most honoring rolls that God has given us is being a parent. She's only 18 days old and our lives are forever changed. Her name is Jachin Lydia ( Jay-kin) I know we couldn't have spelled it any harder... but that's way it reads in the Bible so we kept it! Jachin means "he who establishes" and it is one of the pillars in King Solomon's temple. We just fell in love with the meaning and knew that she is an establisher of great things.

When she was 5 days old we were having "tummy time" and she rolled from her stomach to her back. At first I thought it was just a fluke however the next day she did it again in front of Andrew's parents... she has been doing it every day... multiple times a day, ever since!! She has muscle cuts on her legs, her head & arms are extremely strong as well. It's really cool to see her wiggle and squirm, and flex a little too! : )

She's a great sleeper during the night. She wakes up every 4-6 hours so I'm only waking up once in the night to feed and she falls right back to sleep. During the day she really fights her sleep more, so we've had to put her on a schedule already so we can have a happy baby. Actually, as I'm writing this she is fussing in her room because I am making her take a nap now. So the three of us are still getting use to our new life... but it is a great one.

This wasn't the first time she rolled over but the first time we caught it on tape!

Season of Retreat....

Wow! We're really not good at remembering this whole blog thing!! Here's my attempt to get better at it!! So here we go,.. I'm skipping a lot from the last blog and rushing into current day!

Andrew and I are living in Colorado Springs and anxiously awaiting the birth of our little girl. Her expected due date was June 3... but she just loves her mommy so much, she's decided to stay in there a little longer!! At least that's my take on it! :)

My mom and I have been able to spend lots of needed time together, while we're waiting. We have discovered that puzzles are a great way to pass time, and of course the two of us can talk for days on end. So maybe Andrew should be in your prayers!! This extended time has been such a treat, I have really missed days with her, and now we've gotten a month of memories that we otherwise would not have gotten. Now that's not to say that I'm not trying to negotiate with God that today is the BEST day to have a baby. So far, God's winning the debate! But it has been great!

Andrew and I have also been able to spend time together. We have been able to hike, go on endless walks, and enjoy Colorado's beauty. Andrew tells the baby everyday how much he wants to put her in a hiking backpack and conquer some mountains. Whenever we do hike, she goes crazy in my belly. She loves it! Although we would love to have her in our arms now, we get to cherish these couple of days of no babysitters! We will however keep everyone posted, hey it might give me something to blog about!

Andrew and I are truly loving life right now. At the beginning of 2010, God really impressed on our hearts to have a season of simplicity. To take time and rebuild the foundations of our marriage, and the foundation of our relationship with Him. To no longer just go for the sake of going, but to create purpose with the going. Well, as for me this is a little harder, for I am a person who loves just to go and do. Sometimes with purpose and sometimes aimlessly... OK, a lot of times just aimlessly! It was in February/March time that we made the decision to move to Colorado Springs and rebuild the foundations that the Lord asked us to.

Throughout this process I have realized something about myself,and the stage in life that I am in. When asked the question, "So, what are you guys doing now?" The simple answer of,"We've taken things back to the basics, and enjoying the simple things of life." Which really means, "Not much. Just in a waiting period." That simple truth doesn't seem to be enough. I find myself, and others around me doing the same, trying to create an extravagant answer to let people know that their life means something. The simple act of going to school, or working, or being a parent, just doesn't sound good enough. No, we have this constant need to let others know that we have stuff going on. And that God is using us in bigger ways then anyone could ever imagine. Which He is,even if you're not front and center. We constantly find ourselves trying to validate ourselves.

There are seasons of retreat and their are seasons of advancement. The seasons of advancement are the seasons we long for, and try to live in at all times. And the season of retreat are the seasons we dread. Because it is there that lessons are learned. It is there where the circumcising of the heart happens. Yeah, seasons of retreat are not fun, but sometimes more necessary then the seasons of advancement. It's where you get strategy and strength for the season of advancement. It's so crucial, and yet we try to avoid it at all cost. Would you want a doctor who skipped Med-school, and just read "Becoming a doctor for dummies" operating on you? Because he thought that being a Doctor was way better then getting the proper training to become a great doctor?. Yet in the Kingdom of God we're wanting to skip over our proper training, and flip through the Bible skimming our fingers for a verse for the month. We begin to treat the Bible like it's a "Becoming a christian for Dummies."All because we don't want to pop our bubble and focus on the proper training. To take time away from our "ministries" and focus on our marriages, or our children, or our selves. Because as long as people know that you are doing something GREAT with your life, then those other things can wait.

Yeah, that's been me for quite some time now, and I can no longer live like that. It causes me to not be content in any season of life. I find myself being someone who murmurs, for no reason. Is it worth going through the season of retreat miserable or should I thrive and accept the fact that God is doing something great in me... He's preparing me, and showering me with Him. He's showing me how to be a good wife, a loving mother, a caring friend, a bright student, and a beautiful woman in His Kingdom. May not have a lot of bling to some people, but it's exactly where He has Andrew and I, and that's the best place for us to be.

So that's my little spill on the Fellows' life, and I hope that we can hear what's going on in yours. Hopefully our next blog will be about the birth of our baby and you can see just how beautiful she is!

Going against the flow...

      Tonight Andrew and I find ourselves in the same discussion that we have had hundreds of times before. The conversation that seems to be plaguing our thoughts. One question running through our minds over, and over again. Is this what it feels like to be stepping out in faith? What are the things that are suppose to happen between the 1st leap of faith and the actual landing in the faithfulness of God? 

   Some things were brought to my attention tonight. Living a life of faith was never promised to be easy or make sense for that matter. When you step out in faith you feel as if you are the only one that has ever had to do this. Then I read the Old Testament, and see the men and women of God that lived a life similar to what Andrew and I are going through. The only difference is, I get to read the last chapters of there life... when God shows His love and faithfulness to them. Oh how I wish I could read the next chapter of my own life!! ( How great would that be?!!) How would we look at the lives of these Bible characters if we never read the last chapter of their lives? Would we be the ones in the crowd calling them crazy? Mocking them for their life of faith? Like so many of us mock one another when one steps out in faith.

    I'm reminded of a sermon I heard about Noah. He was told to build a massive boat in the middle of a dry spell. Could you imagine being Noah while building the boat. People constantly reminding him how crazy he was for stepping out in faith and building an unnecessary boat when rain hadn't been in the forecast in awhile! He dealt with the humiliation for years, probably thinking to himself ,"God, I hope this was you." or " I am crazy,... this is nonsense." Day after day building the boat, feeling like a crazy person. Yeah, that sounds so familiar.

     But luckily we can read the last chapter of Noah's story! Can you imagine what it must have felt like when the 1st drop of rain came falling down, hitting Noah's hand. What did he think then? " *gasp* you do exist." At that moment everything changed in Noah's life. He wasn't crazy, he was faithful. Funny how faithful and crazy go along side each other. So, I may be going through the process of the "faithful/crazy" stage, I know that a moment is coming soon, my "*Gasp* You do exist!" moment. 

      So often we look at point A to point B, and that is what we keep our focus on. But God cares more about the journey between the points then the actual destination. Yeah, building the boat isn't easy, but if you never built the boat, you never would have been able to get in the boat when the storm came. 

Let's break free!!

        Since moving to Denver, we constantly find ourselves struggling with the thoughts in our head and the passions in our heart. Lately they don't seem to be on the same page or even in the same library! We know that we were suppose to move out here to help start Church Alive Colorado, and knew it was going to be a struggle but worth every second of it. Yes, we were right about that!! But the struggles that we were going to face in our own personal life could not have been expected, nor planned for. Internally battling against thoughts of defeat, or the feeling of abandonment from the Lord. Mind racing battles, that make you cry out ... " WHERE ARE YOU? WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" 

       Have you ever had those moments? Moments of reading your Bible seeing the faithfulness of God, seeing Him deliver His people time and time again. You begin to write down and memorize the "feel good" verses. The verses that proclaim God never leaving you nor forsaking you. Proclaiming God to be your shelter in the storm, your provider. These verses that you cry out on an hourly basis, however you still don't feel as if any of those things are true. You feel as if you are  the one who hid the idol in your tent and brought destruction among your people. Situations around you don't seem to get any better, and once there is a beacon of light it gets covered with a pile of crap from the world. Every day you wake up believing that TODAY is the day of victory, and going to bed feeling defeated. I could go on and on with examples of the emotional struggle we have had these past couple of months, especially spiritually. 

    There has been a huge chunk of the time spent in 2009 weeping to the Lord asking Him for a sound, a movement, something, anything!! We kept seeking His face, even when it was easier to run away from Him. Through these arguments with God we have found more intimacy with Him. Getting to a place of complete surrender. I can honestly say that I have not spent a day in "comfort" with the Lord. He has been yanking, not always gently, roots from my heart. Purifying my life from every corner. I have learned to truly live what I believe, and not just give  Him lip service. As believers we say, " I trust in the Lord" or "The Lord is my provider" and yet we care more about the money in our bank accounts, then investing time in others. We are so preoccupied with "ministry" we forget what truly seeking the heart of God looks like. Cause wake up call people, you can serve 'til your blue in the face but when was the last time you spent one on one time with your Savior? Not to share with people in your small group or a group of friends but those intimate times when He gives you a secret. It's once we grasp this concept that we can be raw before the Lord and He can lead us rather then us leading us! 

     Once Andrew and I began to grasp this concept things began to change quickly. It became easier for us to follow the God given passions in our heart then the thoughts of  head. We are in a place where it may not make sense to anyone around us. And there are times when everyone around us make sure that we know, it doesn't make sense! But we had a choice to make... Do we do things like the rest of the world? or Do we do things the way God has called us to do? One way is easier and a lot less pressure, because it's been done before. The other way is tough, and scary at times... but there is so much peace and excitement of the unknown. We are not of this world, and we are called to live set apart. When I was younger I would sing at the top of my lungs the song from Delirious "I'm gonna be, a HIStory maker in this land" Those words have always resonated in my spirit. That is what is engraved in my heart. 

        I was reading I Samuel 16 when Samuel goes to anoint one of Jesse's sons to be the next king. One of my favorite parts of this story is that Jesse, David's own father, did not even consider David to be anointed. So much that he didn't even call him in for the prophet to look at. Because everyone around David counted him out. It didn't make sense to the crowd. However, God looks at the heart unlike man who looks at the outward appearance. How many times have we been counted out by the ones who are suppose to believe in us the most... including ourselves! It was during the time of herding the sheep that David perfected his lyre skills, which is what got him into the palace in the first place. So the times we feel unproductive, and useless, are the times we need to perfect our gifts, so that we will be ready when the invitation to the Palace comes. Instead of complaining where you are in life, perfect where you are in life and before you know it your running the race you were created for! 

Remember: When it comes to those around you doubting your obedience to the Lord. One day the crowd was wavy palm branches at Jesus and the next they were screaming "Crucify Him!" The crowds of your life will come in waves, but remember that God is building a Kingdom not of this world. So we no longer are bound by our circumstances but live free in the truth of the Lord. He has given you passions and desires for a purpose, and being controlled by this world is not one of them!! 

Andrew and I are still learning these lessons, and my desire is that we don't stop. That the "comfortable" Christian walk will be forever gone, and I live a life of passion for my God. That my children's children will be living a life of a HIStory maker! 

Habakkuk who?

   Here goes... Andrew writing a blog... Now the reason this is no ordinary occurrence is because whenever I sit down and write something it usually takes me several hours!  Oh well... my feet are propped up on the coffee table, the pro bowl is on for background noise, and I have several hours of unscheduled time waiting to be used... its 4:56... start your clocks...

   So if you haven't heard, read, or figured out, Sara and I are living in Denver now, and in a way that we totally unexpected, it has rocked our world.  God has been stretching, molding, refining, and building... and I have been wrestling, questioning, stiffening, and flailing!  Have you ever reached a point in your life where the reality of what you profess as a Christian smacks you up side the face?!  I think throughout life God takes us to points where we are reminded that our profession of "God is faithful," is more than just a nice Christian saying... but rather it is a lifestyle that is to be lived day to day.  How often have I recited the Lord's prayer, "...give us this day our daily bread...", and really meant just that?  If I really think about it, I'm usually more concerned about what my monthly or yearly cash flow is going to look like.  

   God has really been showing me the significance of the my words and the profession of my faith.  How often have I said something simply because that is what I'm supposed to say as a Christian in that particular circumstance.  Its fascinating how our words change when we find ourselves in a situation where it seems our words is the only thing we have control over.  Think of Job... what was Satan so desperately trying to get Job to do?... Curse God... renounce through his words his trust in God's faithfulness and goodness.  When all of life was crashing in around Job he still had control over the words that were coming out of his mouth.

   Sara and I have most recently been studying the book of Habakkuk.  Yeah...I know... who studies the book of Habakkuk?!  But let me tell you, there is some great stuff in there!  In the last chapter we discovered some verses that I encourage you to apply to your life as well.  I think it will help with the sturdiness of our profession:  "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior."  Wow...what a statement!  If it were up to my ability there is no way I could live such a life!  Fortunately the two verses after that go on to say... "The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."  

   And let me just add... the beauty of trusting in our God is that he has always been faithful to his promises and word!  Have a blessed week!

Visit from the Fellows

We have had a blast with Andrew's parents this past couple of days. Don & Teresa have decided to take an adventure around the US of A. While here they have stocked our refrigerator and pantry, watched a very intense game of football, and shopped for houses for Ryan and Abigail (Andrew's younger brother & wife). 

        This is our first guests in our house. Excluding the night my parents stayed with us when we moved up here!! I have been practicing my hospitality skills, which I got from my mother, and enjoyed the entire thing! I think I realized that I am more like my mom then realized... which is not a bad thing!! 

      So, if anyone wants to come spend some time with the Fellows come on down!! This is something Andrew and I have always talked about. Having a house that is open to surprise vistis, late night talks, and slumber parties!! (My words, not his!) So, please never hesitate to call or just stop by, we would love to spend time with you and see what Jesus is doing in your life!